Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gansta

Six years ago, I went for an interview I never thought I deserved to even have. The perfect job. The dream job.

Sitting in my car waiting for the interview to start, I listened to this song. Over and Over again. I needed to find my center. I needed to find a place where I could be someone I wasn't. Someone who wasn't afraid. Someone who could smile without throwing up. Someone who could impress.

Well, I got the job and from there started a whirlwind carrier that took me to London and Japan. Movies were made, songs written and sport celebrities gave me "props". It was unbelievable. Making money, seeing the world and effortlessly doing a job.

But in that six year, things changed. At the height of my career, everything began to slip apart. The bosses left the company, leaving the employees to fend for themselves. Half the staff was laid off and those few who were left felt empty.

We tried to rebuild, to pick up the pieces. We still are, but it's not working. We're "bleeding" staff as they leave to other companies. Other companies ran by ex-employees. People you counted as friends turn their backs and show their loyalties. Yet, somehow we feel like the bad guys. Those few left standing -- survivor's guilt.

We fight amongst ourselves, wild kids lost on an island. No adults. No order. We devour our spirits within this office park. Nothing feels good anymore. Nothing seems to work. There is no center to find, no matter how many times I replay this song.